In today’s competitive world, the pursuit of excellence is not merely about avoiding failure but about cultivating the unique strengths that set us apart. How to Be Exceptional by John Zenger, Joseph Folkman, Robert Sherwin Jr., and Barbara Steel challenges the conventional wisdom of focusing on weaknesses and instead advocates for honing our core strengths to achieve extraordinary leadership and personal success.
Drawing on extensive research and real-world examples, the authors provide a roadmap for individuals and leaders who aspire to stand out in their organizations and make a lasting impact. This book teaches that by building on our existing capabilities, adopting cross-training strategies, and embracing continuous feedback, we can rise to exceptional levels of performance.
The authors emphasize that achieving greatness isn’t about fixing every flaw but rather focusing on one’s unique strengths and nurturing them into exceptional qualities. For anyone interested in understanding how to excel as a leader, this book serves as a step-by-step guide grounded in years of extensive research.
This article explores key insights from the book, blending them with my own personal reflections, experiences, and examples, to help readers apply these principles in their own lives and careers. Whether you’re a leader looking to inspire your team or an individual striving for personal growth, the lessons from How to Be Exceptional will guide you toward outstanding success.
While How to Be Exceptional centers on building specific skills for leadership and performance excellence, another book, Mindset, offers a more foundational psychological framework that can be applied broadly to personal and professional challenges. Both emphasize the importance of continuous learning and adaptability, but Dweck’s work is rooted in cognitive psychology, whereas How to Be Exceptional is more tactical and business-oriented.
The Fallacy of Weakness Fixation
One of the most striking ideas from the book is the misconception that focusing on one’s weaknesses will lead to overall improvement. For decades, we have been conditioned to believe that professional and personal growth requires us to address our deficiencies, often neglecting the unique talents that set us apart. The authors argue that most people spend far too much time trying to fix what’s wrong with them, rather than focusing on what they already do well.
I, too, was guilty of falling into this trap. As the authors mention, “fixing weaknesses never made anyone exceptional”. Instead, it simply helps individuals avoid failure.
The book provides compelling research that shows how focusing on weaknesses merely brings someone from poor performance to a basic level of adequacy. I reflected on my earlier career where I focused solely on improving my “presentation skills” because I was told that public speaking was essential.
While I improved marginally, I found that this was draining my energy and attention away from the skills I was naturally strong in—such as strategic thinking and problem-solving. The more I poured energy into fixing my flaws, the less time I had to excel at what I was already good at.
Like many, I spent years trying to “fix” these areas. But despite my efforts, I never seemed to make significant progress. While addressing fatal flaws is sometimes necessary, true excellence comes from building upon what we already do well.
The Pitfalls of Perfection: Why You Don’t Need to Excel at Everything
A key takeaway from How to Be Exceptional is that no one needs to be perfect to be extraordinary. In fact, trying to be good at everything can actually prevent you from being great at anything.
The idea that leaders flourish when they lean into their strengths resonated with me on a deeply personal level. The authors argue that “great leaders do a few things exceptionally well”, and this revelation caused me to rethink my entire approach to professional development.
This theory aligns with my personal experience, where the times I felt most fulfilled and impactful were when I harnessed my inherent abilities.
For example, I had always excelled at creative problem-solving. Rather than conforming to traditional approaches, I saw unique patterns where others saw problems. Over the years, my focus had shifted toward refining these skills, resulting in far greater satisfaction and impact in my career.
Zenger and his co-authors suggest that we must take the strengths we identify and “develop them into ones that truly distinguish you and enable you to make the highest contribution to your organization”.
The authors argue that the most effective leaders aren’t those who excel in every area but those who have mastered a few critical strengths. This is a liberating concept for anyone who has felt overwhelmed by the pressure to improve their weaknesses.
But the reality is, no one can be great at everything. Once I accepted this, I began to focus on the areas where I could make the most significant impact. This shift in mindset not only reduced my stress but also allowed me to leverage my strengths in ways that made me a far more effective leader.
Moving from Good to Great: Developing Signature Strength and Leadership Cross Training
One of the most innovative concepts introduced in How to Be Exceptional is the idea of “Leadership Cross-Training.” The book explains how athletes often engage in cross-training to build complementary muscles and skills, which indirectly enhance their performance in their primary sport. Similarly, leaders can use cross-training to build competencies that indirectly strengthen their primary strengths. It refer to leveraging related skills to enhance your primary strength.
For instance, if one of your key strengths is communication, you might improve it further by developing related competencies such as emotional intelligence, active listening, or conflict resolution. By engaging in activities that complement your core strengths, you create a virtuous cycle of improvement.—
When I first read this, I was skeptical. How could improving an unrelated skill enhance a core strength? However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that many of my greatest growth moments occurred when I stepped outside my comfort zone. By engaging in activities that seemed unrelated to my core strengths, I found that these experiences broadened my thinking and made me more adaptable.
For instance, as someone strong in strategic thinking, I had always been reluctant to develop my interpersonal communication skills.
The authors of How to Be Exceptional provide a compelling framework for developing what they call “signature strengths.” These are the unique capabilities that set top performers apart from the rest. To become exceptional, it’s not enough to be merely competent in several areas; you must excel in a few.
Zenger and his co-authors recommend identifying your three to five strongest attributes and working diligently to elevate them to the 90th percentile.
As a writer and communicator, I have always been comfortable articulating ideas in writing. But when I began actively improving my storytelling ability, enhancing my public speaking skills, and learning more about body language, I noticed a marked improvement in the way people responded to my ideas. The more I built on my existing strengths, the more confidence and effectiveness I gained in both my personal and professional interactions.
Moreover, after volunteering to lead a cross-departmental project, I realized that the success of my strategies often depended on my ability to communicate effectively with diverse teams.
This experience highlighted that while strategic thinking was my strength, pairing it with enhanced communication skills allowed me to implement strategies far more successfully.
The Importance of Feedback in Becoming Exceptional
One of the most insightful chapters in How to Be Exceptional addresses the role of feedback in strength development.
Often, we’re blind to our own talents, and sometimes, our perceived weaknesses are not as critical as we think. This is where 360-degree feedback becomes invaluable. By gathering input from peers, subordinates, and supervisors, leaders can gain a clearer understanding of their true strengths and areas for growth.
Feedback plays an indispensable role in personal development, and the authors of How to Be Exceptional emphasize its necessity. “A sure-fire medicine,” as they call it, feedback offers a reality check on where we stand compared to where we perceive ourselves. In my professional life, there have been several pivotal moments where constructive feedback shaped my trajectory.—
I recall one particular experience when I received feedback from a mentor about my leadership style. I was told that although I was proficient in generating innovative ideas, I often neglected to bring my team along in the journey. While this wasn’t a glaring weakness, it was a subtle area where I could improve to become a more effective leader.
Acting on this feedback didn’t mean changing my core strength of creative problem-solving, but rather enhancing how I communicated my vision to my team.
The book suggests that leaders should embrace feedback, not just as a tool for improvement, but as a continuous practice. This approach resonates deeply with me as I’ve come to see feedback as a gift rather than criticism.
While I had always considered myself a good listener, the feedback revealed that others saw this as one of my most profound strengths. This external validation gave me the confidence to invest even more in improving my listening skills, which ultimately transformed how I approached leadership.
As Zenger and his co-authors note, the goal of feedback isn’t just to highlight deficiencies but to provide actionable insights for building on your strengths.
Strengths Are Not Static and Why Strengths Can Be Developed
One of the book’s key messages is that strengths are not fixed; they can and should be continuously developed. The authors state that “there are many pathways for strengths development”, and this resonated deeply with me. Too often, we assume that we are either born with certain talents or we aren’t, but the reality is much more dynamic.
The book’s emphasis on the development of strengths aligns with research from fields such as psychology and education, which shows that with the right mindset and strategies, individuals can improve in almost any area. The key is to approach improvement with intentionality and a growth mindset.
I learned this lesson the hard way early in my career. After achieving some early success, I became complacent, thinking that my strong problem-solving abilities would carry me indefinitely. It wasn’t until I faced a series of professional setbacks that I realized strengths must be honed consistently.
Zenger and his co-authors emphasize this point: just as athletes continuously train and push their limits, leaders must also push their strengths to new heights if they want to stay exceptional.
The Myth of Overdeveloping Strengths
A common concern I’ve heard from colleagues is the fear of taking strengths “too far.” The belief is that overemphasizing a strength can lead it to become a weakness.
However, How to Be Exceptional debunks this myth. The book presents data suggesting that true strengths, when nurtured properly, do not become weaknesses. Instead, what people often perceive as a strength taken too far is simply a misapplication of a strength without complementary skills.
In my own journey, I’ve encountered this myth as well. For a long time, I believed that being too focused on strategic thinking would make me overly detached from the tactical details. However, through leadership cross-training and feedback, I learned that this wasn’t the case. By enhancing my complementary skills, such as communication and team management, I was able to elevate my strategic thinking even further, without it becoming a liability.
The Ripple Effect of Exceptional Leadership
The impact of exceptional leadership extends far beyond individual performance. As How to Be Exceptional demonstrates, leaders who operate at the top of their game inspire their teams to achieve higher levels of performance, satisfaction, and engagement. They create a culture of excellence that drives organizational success.
In one of the book’s most compelling studies, Zenger and his co-authors found that teams led by exceptional leaders were significantly more engaged, productive, and satisfied than those led by average or poor leaders.
This rings true in my own professional experience. I’ve had the privilege of working with leaders who exemplified this principle—leaders who weren’t just competent but truly exceptional. These individuals had a way of bringing out the best in their teams, fostering a sense of purpose, and driving outstanding results.
The Importance of Overcoming Fatal Flaws
While the central message of How to Be Exceptional is the importance of building on strengths, the authors also acknowledge the need to address “fatal flaws”—those significant weaknesses that can derail a career.
These flaws can be behaviors or competencies that are so detrimental that they overshadow any strengths a person might have. In other words, while focusing on strengths is the key to becoming exceptional, ignoring major weaknesses can prevent you from even reaching that point.
In my own career, I’ve seen how fatal flaws can hold someone back. I once worked with a manager who had an extraordinary ability to think strategically. He could map out long-term plans and see how different elements of the business fit together in a way that was truly impressive. However, his communication skills were lacking.
He often failed to clearly articulate his ideas, leaving his team confused and unsure of what to do next. This communication flaw was so significant that it prevented him from fully leveraging his strategic thinking—a core strength that could have propelled him and his team to success.
The book highlights that while it’s crucial to build on strengths, ignoring fatal flaws is not an option. Addressing these major weaknesses is a necessary step before you can focus on becoming truly exceptional. The authors recommend identifying and fixing these flaws early on in your career to prevent them from becoming obstacles later.
One of the most eye-opening concepts from How to Be Exceptional is the idea that simply fixing weaknesses doesn’t make you great. At best, it makes you competent. This is a mistake many of us make, believing that if we can eliminate all our flaws, we’ll become outstanding leaders or high achievers.
However, the reality is that being “okay” at everything doesn’t inspire others or drive extraordinary results. It merely gets you to an average level of performance.
This concept resonated with me on a deeply personal level. I used to believe that if I could just fix all the things I wasn’t good at—my tendency to avoid confrontation, my discomfort with numbers, or my hesitance to delegate—I would become the leader I wanted to be. But after years of trying to smooth out these edges, I realized I wasn’t moving forward in any meaningful way.
It was only when I began to focus on my strengths—my empathy, creativity, and ability to inspire others—that I saw real progress in my leadership and personal development. The lesson here is clear: being average at everything doesn’t lead to excellence. Being exceptional at a few things does.
The Role of Passion in Developing Strengths
Another critical insight from the book is the role that passion plays in developing strengths. The authors argue that true strengths are those behaviors or competencies that you not only perform well but also enjoy doing.
This enjoyment is crucial because it fuels the effort and practice required to take a skill from good to exceptional. When you’re passionate about something, you’re more likely to invest the time and energy needed to refine it.
In my own experience, I’ve found that the things I’m passionate about are the areas where I’ve seen the most growth. For example, I’ve always been passionate about storytelling, both in writing and speaking. Over the years, I’ve spent countless hours honing this skill—reading books on narrative structure, attending workshops, and practicing in front of various audiences. The reason I’ve been able to make progress is not because I had some natural talent for storytelling, but because I genuinely love doing it. This passion has sustained me through the hard work and practice required to become better.
The authors of How to Be Exceptional emphasize that when you focus on developing strengths that align with your passions, the process becomes more enjoyable and, as a result, more sustainable.
You’re not just working to improve a skill because you have to—you’re doing it because you want to. This is a powerful motivator that can propel you toward greatness.
Leadership Isn’t Just for Leaders
One of the most refreshing ideas in How to Be Exceptional is that the principles of leadership apply not only to people in formal leadership positions but to everyone. Whether you’re a manager, an individual contributor, or an entrepreneur, the ability to develop your strengths and lead through your actions is essential for success.
I’ve seen this play out in my own career. Early on, when I didn’t have a formal leadership title, I still took it upon myself to lead in different ways. I focused on my strengths—listening to others, solving problems creatively, and collaborating across teams—and found that these actions naturally positioned me as a leader, even without the title.
As the book explains, leadership is less about the title you hold and more about the impact you have on those around you. By focusing on your strengths, you can have a significant influence, regardless of your role.
The book provides examples of individuals who, despite not having formal authority, became leaders in their organizations by leveraging their strengths.
This was a powerful reminder to me that leadership is accessible to everyone. You don’t need to wait for a promotion or a new title to start making a difference. By identifying and building on your strengths, you can lead from wherever you are.
A Final Thought
One of the most empowering messages from How to Be Exceptional is that there’s no single blueprint for becoming exceptional.
Each of us has our own unique strengths, and the path to greatness will look different for everyone. The book encourages readers to take ownership of their personal development and to craft their own journey toward excellence.
This idea resonates deeply with me. Over the years, I’ve learned that comparing myself to others or trying to follow someone else’s path rarely leads to success. Instead, I’ve found that focusing on my own strengths and carving out my own path has been far more rewarding.
As Zenger, Folkman, Sherwin, and Steel remind us, the goal isn’t to become a carbon copy of someone else’s idea of excellence. It’s to become the best version of yourself by building on what makes you unique.
For anyone looking to elevate their performance and become truly exceptional, How to Be Exceptional offers a powerful roadmap. It provides not only the research and tools needed to develop your strengths but also the inspiration to take action. The journey to becoming exceptional is not an easy one, but with focus, passion, and persistence, it’s a journey that anyone can undertake—and succeed in.
A Personal Call to Action
How to Be Exceptional is more than just a guide to leadership—it’s a call to action for anyone seeking to elevate their performance in any area of life. The book’s emphasis on developing strengths, seeking feedback, and embracing cross-training offers a powerful framework for personal and professional growth.
The message is clear: exceptionalism isn’t about being perfect or fixing every flaw; it’s about identifying what you’re good at, honing those strengths, and using them to make a lasting impact.
For me, the lessons from this book have been transformative. They’ve helped me move beyond the limiting belief that I need to be good at everything and have encouraged me to focus on what I do best. As I continue my journey toward excellence, I am reminded that the path to being exceptional isn’t a solitary one. It’s a process of learning, growing, and continuously striving to be the best version of myself.
So, I invite you to reflect on your own strengths. What are the things you do better than most? How can you take those abilities to the next level? As the authors of How to Be Exceptional suggest, the journey to greatness begins with a single step—focusing on what makes you exceptional.
Top 10 Takeaways
1. Focus on Strengths, Not Weaknesses: The path to greatness is through enhancing your natural strengths rather than obsessively fixing weaknesses. As the authors say, “fixing weaknesses never made anyone exceptional”.
2. Exceptional Leaders Excel in a Few Key Areas: Outstanding leaders aren’t perfect; they are profoundly good in a few critical areas. Their strengths far outweigh any minor weaknesses.
3. Leadership Cross-Training: Just as athletes use cross-training to improve, leaders can develop complementary skills that enhance their core strengths, taking them from good to exceptional.
4. The Role of Feedback: Continuous, constructive feedback is essential for leadership development. Embracing feedback helps leaders recognize areas of improvement and further refine their strengths.
5. Strengths Can Be Developed: Contrary to popular belief, strengths are not static. They can be continuously nurtured and expanded through deliberate practice and learning.
6. Overdeveloping Strengths is a Myth: The idea that strengths can be overdeveloped into weaknesses is a misconception. Properly nurtured strengths do not become liabilities; instead, they become distinguishing qualities.
7. The Power of 360-Degree Feedback: Multi-rater feedback, particularly 360-degree assessments, offers valuable insights into both strengths and weaknesses, making it an effective tool for personal growth.
8. The Importance of Signature Strengths: Leaders who use their “signature strengths” consistently achieve higher levels of success, fulfillment, and impact in their organizations.
9. Fixing Fatal Flaws is Necessary but Not Enough: While addressing glaring weaknesses or “fatal flaws” is essential for avoiding failure, it is the development of strengths that leads to exceptional leadership.
10. Continuous Improvement is Key: Being exceptional is a journey, not a destination. Leaders must continuously refine their strengths, seek feedback, and adapt to new challenges to remain exceptional over time.
Conclusion
Becoming exceptional is not a destination but a continuous process. As How to Be Exceptional demonstrates, the key to standing out is not about being perfect or fixing every flaw but about identifying and amplifying one’s core strengths.
The book’s practical insights—such as leadership cross-training, the importance of feedback, and the myth of overdeveloped strengths—offer a clear roadmap for anyone looking to elevate their performance and make a lasting impact.
From my personal experience, the journey to becoming exceptional has been about understanding what I do best, continually refining those abilities, and integrating complementary skills that amplify my strengths. As the authors conclude, exceptional leaders are not those who are good at everything, but those who are profoundly excellent at a few critical things. The path to true greatness, then, is not about mediocrity across the board, but mastery in the areas that matter most.
By adopting this mindset and focusing on strengths, we can all begin the journey toward becoming truly exceptional leaders, both in our personal and professional lives.
